Day 25 – It feels like I missed day 24 … missed it all together. I woke up and the day got away and, before I knew it, I was in bed at the end of it. I did produce a video yesterday. A video of my weekend in Niagara Falls Canada (of course, lol). I love Canada, I am Canadian, and while having Irish blood deep in my DNA (immigration of grandfolks in 1823 or so) I believe I am Canadian. Niagara Falls has been part of my life for years.
I remember going there with my sister and her husband. I think maybe their first born was there, but I am unsure. They were married in 1963 and first born was not here until 1968. I would have been nine. I remember a helicopter ride that I did not go up in, but they did. I cannot remember the details, just remember being at Niagara Falls, so many years ago. I remember being there with my folks too. I remember being lost in flowers, just the fleeting memory of it.
I remember a funeral when I was very small. I remember many funerals. There was an uncle, husband to my mom’s sister, who died. A neighbour. My brother, grandparents. Then I remember my aunt’s “friend” who shared her life after that. Never married, something no one talked about. I remember travelling to the east coast the summer my brother and my grandfather died. I cannot remember if it was before they died or after. I was 13 years old. I remember telling my mother about my divorce. I remember my cousin waking up with an eye so swollen she could not put on her glasses and no one knowing what caused it. I remember…
Carol Orsborn writes, on page 150, of Older, Wiser, Fiercer, “Another of the great gifts of age is that perceptions – even cherished ones – can seemingly change in a flash.” It is never too late to have a happy childhood or find happy memories from the past. Our memory is just that, our memory, and we choose what to keep near and dear to our heart and it can be pain or beauty. In this reflection she speaks of a field of love where we return. In our aging selves we can look differently upon memories as we look differently upon our lives. She further writes, “The external world may not ever change its storyline, but you are now free to cease preoccupying yourself with all the apparently unloving stuff…..”
The day got away yesterday and while the RV did not pan out, nor was it worth the drive, the few minutes with my toddler granddaughter was more than worth any lapse in the day. Her smile, her tiny hand holding my finger as we walked in circles … and her wee small voice saying, “Hi Gamma” …. Be still, my heart, and know …. Divinity is about two feet tall and carries within the “wee small voice” of God!
As the moon wanes to darkness, we tremble in gratefulness to know the moon shine again …. the ebb and flow of the tide and the light. Women ignite, grow and burn deep with from your heart centre.
#breakingstibah
#carolorsborn
#spiritualpractices
#breakingstibah 