There is an old story about a young woman who cut the ends off the ham roll at Christmas dinner. Her daughter was watching and asks, “Why do you cut the ends off?” Mother answers, “It’s tradition!” and the daughter’s brow furrows.

Later, gramma comes and as she is taking the ham out of the roasting pan, she notes to granddaughter, “I see your mom cut off the ends!” and she laughed. Daughter again furrows her brow and asks, “why are you laughing!” Gramma explains how her mother also cut the ends off. So this tradition has now entered the fourth generation. Daughter looks up at her grandmother and asks, “Why did great gramma cut the ends off?” Gramma pondered and said she had asked that too! GG told her that her mother did it as well. Then gramma leaned over and said to granddaughter, “Can I share a secret, because the time has come to look out a different window here. When I asked my mother, she said that GG did it too because the pan was not big enough to fit the whole ham! It was cut down to fit!”

Does this happen to you? Are you following, studying, seeing the world in a way that has been handed down to you by the well meaning adults who raised you? Are you following a map that no longer is of the territory you are travelling upon? Are you looking out the window to a world where your upbringing no longer fits?

This quote is from a blog by Jim Palmer When the Window Becomes the World and it has put to words much of what I have been working on for over 20 years. Recently, I heard him in an interview and he talked about the word, “chair” and how it is just a common word we use to share knowledge and to communicate. I used this analogy in 2009 when I was in an interview with a Christian discernment committee. The were deciding if I was “fit” for ministry in the Presbyterian Church. I was mocked and was asked to stick to Jesus in my descriptions. Needless to say I never “fit” nor was I ever “ordained” to ministry in any Christian organization.

It is because I look out the window and see Jesus differently and that was not allowed. When training for ministry we are to fit into the tradition and doctrines. We are to become soldiers of the church to conquer evil and grow the institution that believes Jesus died for our sins. I finally in the last month said it out loud, I do not believe Jesus died on the cross for our sins. I think he was executed because he was trouble for the authority of the day and was creating awareness and educating people on how to rebel.

It is interesting it took 1500 years after his death for the bible to get into the hands of the common reader. They did not have libraries where you could go and pick one from the plethora of translations and sit under a tree and read. We are now almost 15 centuries later and people are still arguing over the “truth” of the bible. Just yesterday I had a conversation with a friend who is troubled because she has a quad of friends and her evangelical friend has silently shown she no longer will be friends with the lesbian friend because of her beliefs.

I am sad we are still talking this talk and walking this walk. I am sad we are still cutting the ends off the ham just because our well meaning adults in our lives did it. I am sad it is a hard journey to move beyond biblical teaching to a deep LOVE that is in all humans. We are riddled with anxiety, polarization, loneliness, confusion and ideology extremism and the answer is to listen, love and learn from others. Be open to deep listening and hear the message. Look out the window and assess the landscape and take on the tools you need to navigate it.

There is much we can keep in the tradition of Christian faith, there is much we can learn from Islam, Buddhism, Sikhism, and others …. we all have the same goal, to treat others as we want to be treated. Care for the world and listen. LISTEN … stop cutting the ends off the ham just because it is what has always been done ….. look for a reason to change tradition.

#breakingstibah