Shane (my son) said to me, “Mom you said you were NEVER going to do another solo hike, when you were in Ireland.” I said, “One learning as we age is NEVER say NEVER!” Funny how in the throes of adventure the lows can make you say things you really do not mean. Being in the stress of loneliness or weariness one abandons all of it. All the adventure. It is only when the trip is complete and you can look back and see that, is the lesson learned.
I am beginning to think about “what’s next?” and am formulating a plan. I am not going to give it away yet as the views of my Ireland journey are still just beginning, telling me it is still fresh in my mind. I also have just secured my apartment (I think) in Elliot Lake so my summer will be taken up getting organized in my new home and deciding about school in the fall. My life is never simple, that is for sure. However, it is how I choose to live. Change and flux seem to be my fodder.
Watching the triplets, three babies all born almost within a year, makes me smile. They explore and express themselves and they are never bored. They have not yet discovered the human construction of boredom. They simply exist and live their lives with one ingrained intuition. To simply move and live. They squawk when they are hungry, pee and poop in the moment, touch everything they can and push the limits. When do we lose that ability? What is it that causes adults to squash these qualities out of us?
I have now spent almost a year on the campus in grad housing, another experience I can record in my journal of life. Watching younger students has been interesting. As a more mature student I have a different view, my nut tree has more nuts in it, and I have more past to draw from. Pondering at its best.
Today is the birthday of a cousin I have not seen in years. My memories of our playtime in the past are clear. I remember one morning on the farm her waking with a swollen eye from a mosquito bite and when she put on her glasses the swelling touched the lens. She could not see out of that eye. We played anyway. So as I move forward into the next adventure while I might not be able to see, I will play anyway, and know that my vision will clear as time goes on. One valuable lesson I have learned is when we allow our vision to be revealed wonderful things happen. It is in the stress of the waiting we struggle, hence the “NEVERs” seem to creep in. May you ponder your “NEVERs” well and prayerfully give them a chance to fall away.
#breakingstibah 