These pieces are all random and laying around my table. They represent a picture that will come together when I take the time to move them and match them up. Otherwise, this puzzle, in its scatter will simply remain scattered.
Our lives are a splat! A scattering of puzzle pieces according to Dr. Sue Mortar. Her theory is we arrive here after landing at the bus stop, speaking with source and challenging the soul to an earthly life to live lessons. Once the mission, is accepted onward the journey. We arrive, or splat, and then spend the rest of our lives seeking all our pieces.
It is our job to figure out how to live our soul’s mission. It is our burning desire, deep in our heart to fulfill that which we set out to achieve. Then the human existence gets involved. Ego (Edging Gawd Out) begins to play with us on a human level. Our need for soul’s fulfillment takes a silent back seat to the drive of the ego. This is where it gets tricky. Are we able to reconnect with the very heart of our own matter?
This brings me to the question, if you knew your death day would you live differently? In the work I do, I am now immersed in knowing too much. I know more than most people witness. That is not arrogance talking, it is fact. There are few who can speak up and say, “I have lived a journey of self or with others where I knew the death day.” I have been changing a woman in her bed, and while freshening up her dying body, she died. She took her last breath. It was not planned in that moment, not by me or my care mate, however it was planned by the body. The body gave out, took its last breath and beat its last beat. The blood took its final lap around the miles of vessels. I was at the bedside of my father, watching the Young and the Restless with my mother when he breathed his last. When his body said, “enough, it is finished!” My father a very religious man did not call out asking why he had been forsaken, or begged for the forgiveness of others. Nor did he commend his own soul to source. He simply stopped breathing. The vessel was left behind and that which I knew of as my father seemed to be gone. It was not planned or known when that moment would come, it just came.
In a world today when we might know our death day, what makes that different? My beautiful friend and guide, Linda F. Hochstetler, has a book from a Canadian perspective that talks about dying and death. In it she has a meditation asking this very question beginning with eight years (I think) and then meditating down to eight seconds. I have done it, however, now I have a very different view since I have watched it happen in real life. The challenges, the questions, the anger, the fear, the unknown …. they all surface in real ways, in real challenges and in real pain.
Most of us live our lives never considering our death day. Not one minute of living is spent thinking about dying, other than to joke about it or throw out platitudes. Just today, on the news, a father of one of the boys killed in the Humboldt Broncos bus crash was speaking about his son. He was talking about the lives made better and saved because they donated their boys organs. He shared how one day, while on the back deck he and his son were talking about someone donating their organs. His boy said he wanted his organs donated if possible. That was the simple seed planted that assisted the family in a time of dire sadness.
Pretend one day that you know your death day. Set a date in the future as your own death day. See what it is like to plan beyond it, focus on the future, and ask yourself, “am I looking at my family differently?” Just because you create an awareness of living by setting a death day does not mean you will die, it means you will live because a new awareness will grasp you. An awareness that cannot honestly be fathomed until you truly are facing your death day.
I am changed. My work will change going forward. Thanks be to my own soul for its choosing to learn beyond the depths of what surfing or skimming the surface will bring. I am so grateful for all the joy, pain, suffering and hope I have witnessed. Truly I feel I am living. Living fully. Deeply aware. Hungrily understanding a soulful journey.
#breakingstibah 