Empty hangers …
Today I was looking in my closet for a certain piece of clothing. I was going walking and while it is brisk, I did not want my rain pants because they make noise. I wanted warmth without the noise. So I travelled along the hangers. No, no, no …. And then I came along a group of empty hangers. I moved them to the end of the line. Close to the wall and stopped to ponder them.
These hangers used to be filled with clothes. Where did they go? What clothes hung on them? I could not remember. It is funny because in my other closet there is a plastic garbage bag filled with my cast offs. The clothes that used to hang on these hangers. I cannot even remember them. My decision was I will put these here and then if something surfaces that I miss I can retrieve it. Now I cannot even remember what clothes are in this bag, let alone miss any of them!
It caused me to reflect on my life after 65 years on this planet. What memories, thoughts and experiences have I placed in a holding pattern in my heart only to never retrieve them? Most recently while listening to a book, I had cause to remember something from over 10 years ago. In shame and turmoil, I mulled it around in my mind, thinking “what was I thinking?” and proceeded to walk through that very day.
My conclusion is I was selfish and lost. The actions of that day were of a desperate and lonely person who was seeking activity to dull the pain while they drank themselves stupid. I walked the journey with that part of me that was so broken and lost, held hands and forgave myself. The empty hanger had something on it once again. I had pulled that cast off memory out and rehung it in my mind’s closet to possibly wear again. Was this wise?
As I looked over this memory hanging there in my mind, I realized I have come so far. Healed and changed my life for the better and the lesson I learned is when I am hurting I do dumb things, so I need to manage my hurts better! In that, with my personal growth and the changes I have struggled through and put on the empty hangers are for the good and I am better for them all.
I reached into the closet of my mind and pulled that memory back off the hanger and put it back into the bag. I said goodbye to it knowing I will not need to pull it out again as I have carried the lessons learned forward and do not need the actions to remind me anymore. I can put that memory out at the roadside for the trash. It is not for recycling or for donation, it is garbage now. The carcass has been picked clean, time to release it into the abyss of my memory dump with Bing Bong (Inside Out reference, if you have not seen it you are missing out) and soar with Joy back to the present consciousness.
In this shift of consciousness, we are witnessing it is time to begin to gather in community with like-minded people who realize the old maps need to go and there is a new way to view the divine source and the ancient stories we have been told. Reach into the closet and purge those old ideas hanging there and toss them into the memory dump of your psyche. Leave behind the empty hanger and watch for something beautiful and helpful to hang there once again.
#breakingstibah 
Hello Cynthia,
Happy Sunday!
My current belief is that neither the bag nor the hanger can ever again be fully empty. What we create, every decision we make and path we take remains ours forever and will never go away altogether. What can and needs to go away is the religious guilt that we try to pack around in our laundry baskets and what keeps getting caught on hooks, belts and the best suspenders from our best clothes. The important thing about memories is recognizing their true value after a brief acknowledgement of their status in our closets, as in whether theyâre good or not so good. If not good, as in: we regret them and recognize what was a bad decision that was made, swallow once and admit, repent and leave it behind. You can never throw it away completely but you can make it stop talking to you. If good memories: let them warm up your belly for a few minutes and then let be, once again, lost on a shelf. Itâs not helpful to let previous bad decisions stain our wonderful ones.
Congratulations on your recent anniversary. I appreciate how difficult it can be to ditch something that doesnât want to leave you alone. Iâve determined that my challenge comes in the name of the religious guilt that my parents and their church(es) p;aced on me, as alluded to in the previous paragraph. That is not to say that I feel shame for many of the actions I engaged in during my earlier years. Rather, I accept that they were wrong and commit to not engaging in those activities again. Iâve recently come to experience that I forgive myself while not disregarding the fact that my actions then were wrong.
These days my greatest concerns rest with the apparent realities of our political world. I happen to hold significant intellectual and emotional capital in the human race and Iâm quite frankly horrified to witness the darkness that we promote on thee world stage. Our actions (inactions) are astounding and Iâm saddened to learn that the civilized world Iâve been taught to uphold is fundamentally evil and Iâve been lied to all my life. Retaliation does not excuse massacre, let alone genocide!
Itâs been awhile since weâve communicated and I recognize my position may be disparaging but better that than dishonest.
I hope youâre all doing well.
Steve
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I feel another book in the making. I have missed my weekly pause.
With gratitude, xoxo
Yo
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