Two days in one

Day 14 – We have reached the fullness of the March 2025 equinox moon. Not only have we reached this regular monthly cycle, but we were gifted with an eclipse. A full eclipse where the moon took on a beautiful, shadowed hue. A rusty coloured silhouette in the sky through the night last night. Did you get up and look? I did. I went outside actually and stood barefoot in the grass. 

I found myself being pulled a little one way and other, like when standing in chest deep water. It was beautiful. I can’t say it was peaceful because I am on a university campus in the middle of the city. There were younger people all around me at 2:30 AM walking talking and viewing the moon through their phones. The sirens were prevalent in the background and the lights on the path robbed me of the darkness. I miss being in the country. 

Carol Orsborn writes in Older, Wiser, Fiercer, on page 7, “Aging is a time filled with irony” and comments on how there are times we are full of purpose and other times we wonder what it has all been for. **sigh** 

I am listening to a book, fiction, that has me my suspending belief about time. The character has walked through a door from 2023 and landed in 1951. Funny because yesterday was my brother’s birthday, and he was born in 1951. That caused me pause. Alongside of this book I retraced some of my own steps since 1959, my birth year. I have memories that I am unsure if they are memories or simply concoctions of my imagination. 

In this book, the character crosses paths with her grandmother at 16, and her great-grandmother in mid-life. She also witnesses how her daughter, a child of 4 in 1951, is in 2023 an older, unexplained family member, 72 years old. It boggles the mind to keep it straight and yet it reminds me, our memories can be confused, mixed up and fall away from a chronological pattern very easily. The irony? Sometimes I wish I could walk through the door and go back to simpler times and yet want to skip forward a few years to see what’s to come. The irony is wishing forward or wishing back both affect today’s purpose for living. Being old makes us appreciate our youth and yet when we were young we could not appreciate aging unless we can walk through time. Aging is living …. 

Day 15 – Hump day? Thought that was Wednesday. It is Wednesday when one is measuring a Monday to Friday week. Hump moment? That is the 13^th kilometer of a ½ marathon or the 13^th mile of a full one. The ‘hump’ is the bulge in the road that slows you down in a school zone. The idea is you must pay attention. So where is the hump in our aging journey? Where is the speed bump we must look for to give us the indication we are now over the hump? One never knows. 

I am sure my brother, who died in 1973, did not know the hump in his life was somewhere before his 24^th birthday. Or Martin Luther King, I am sure in 1963 when he marched on Washington he was unaware it might have been the hump toward his death in 1968. Hump day could be today for any of us, however without a finish line, the hump is completely mysterious.

Tomorrow I am presenting to a group about generative aging and will talk about my views on aging well. I am more and more realizing my views and $1.40 will buy you a coffee at Tim’s and at least with the $1.40 you receive a coffee. What do I have to say that is valuable? Or even palatable? Or worth listening to? Who knows. This past week I was asked to speak for video recording about being a mature student. I spoke from my heart and in authenticity with hopes it may encourage other mature people to engage in learning. The younger student behind the camera was so encouraging to me with his thanks and kudos that I spoke well. These past few months, I have transitioned once again. The more I do the more I learn about myself. To heck with the world around me. I learn about me and that is very satisfying.

Carol Orsborn writes, on page 120, “How sobering, that moment when we come to realize that we are capable of a peculiar greatness. As we grow over time into our unique, authentic self, what others think of us becomes less and less of a concern. We lose our filters and find words ….”

Have you found your words? Is today your hump day in the rain? Is there a speed bump in your road that is asking you to slow down and pay attention? On this 15^th day of my 31-day pondering, it’s my hump day, another on my road to aging well. 

After the full light of the moon we begin the journey back to darkness …. women ignite, grow and burn deep with from your heart centre. 

#breakingstibah
#olderwiserfiercer