Do you pack your fears?

Today I am preparing to go to a wee cabin/cottage on Rice Lake. It is about a three hour drive east of my home and I am preparing for the week. I have homework to do, books to read and two classes to join on zoom. This is a first for me, going to a cottage or cabin for the week.

I have travelled and backpacked in Ireland, Scotland and England. I have slept out overnight on the Bruce Trail. I have booked and gone away for purpose such as a class in person towards my masters degree. This adventure of booking a cottage for seven days, staying in place, and just relaxing is new to me.

I just received the check-in information and one of my thoughts has been assured. There is wifi. It is interesting how wifi has simply become something we expect to have. To not have it would send us into the stages of grief beginning, first and foremost with denial. What? What do you mean there is no wifi? I had that recently when I boarded the Chi-Cheemaun Ferry and upon asking one of the wonderful attendants on the boat, “is there a password for the wifi?” They told me, “there is no wifi” with a smile of course. I am sure that smile was not as reassured as it seemed because I can only imagine there are people who truly might meltdown upon such a statement.

I digress, I received the check-in information accompanied by a video showing where to go and which cabin is mine with the instructions of how to get in. It is amazing how so many hosts are MIA when booking an AirBNB accommodation. Many visits I have come and gone and never met anyone, let alone the host.

I booked this wee stay a few weeks ago, after the death of my sister-in-law. I had been here since January assisting in her palliative care and final spiritual journey and felt, in the days after, this was a good decision. I still think it is a good decision it is just I have never gone to a cottage/cabin before in my life. Not with my parents, not with my children, not with friends. What does one take for a week at the lake a few kilometres from town?

I leave this morning about 10 AM as I am lunching with a friend along the way. I am grateful for this because it won’t allow me to procrastinate going! I want to get, I just am not sure I want to go. Have you ever felt like the going part is harder than the getting there part. I have a bag of clothes some food, books, computer and cords. Lots and lots of cords. Cords for the phone, computer, and power pack to keep phone charged while hiking and walking. I have a bag full of stuff because I keep thinking of things I might need.

Since I am going in my car, and said car will be parked close to said cabin, I can load up with my fears. The fear I will need something I do not have! AH-HA …. the big question jumps out at me, “am I packing my fears?” As a backpacker one learns very quickly this is dangerous and HEAVY. No one wants to carry a back pack full of fears. “I might need this” is a favourite saying for the vacation packer. Three pairs of special jeans, certain tops for certain events and the kicker, ten pairs of shoes, one pair for every possible need. Walking, running, beach, dancing, dress-up, casual and Zumba!

I learned as a backpacker and an air traveller I cannot pack my fears and this is no different. I will need very little this week. I will need nothing more than I need everyday which, by choice, is lean and simple. That said, I have stopped packing. I am going to take what I have ready and go. I have been many places and never once have I stopped and said, “I wish I had brought …. {insert item here}” NEVER! So once again, I am going to relax and know, be still and know, I have all I need with me for this pilgrimage. Knowing I only need a little bread a little water and my open heart, open and willing to adventure.

#breakingstibah