Generative Aging

The Change of Year is upon us soon and as we shift focus from 2024 to 2025 it is being realized we are ¼ of the way through this century. Remember Y2K? Do you realize babies born in the year 2000 are now 25 years old? Time marches on at a speed by which we cannot fathom if we are to really pay attention to it. What does it mean to “pay attention”? We pay in many ways …. we pay with our souls, our hearts, our pocketbook and our health. I have been watching a “Tums” commercial recently that has an ice cream Sunday with a Tums on top, like a cherry, and it says something like treat yourself then treat your discomfort with Tums. Does that not disturb and insult your decision making?

I am the broom in the boomer story. The party has been happening and the first cohorts are well into the throes of challenging our system to satisfy their needs and I am the broom sweeping along behind picking up the leftovers. At 65 years old I will be the recipient of the research and I will be left to deal with the hangovers.

One of the discoveries and changes I have been watching is how religion is falling away so quickly in Canada that now is the time to sweep away all the debris of false doctrine and see if God is left behind anywhere in the castoffs of history. Most recently in my studies I was called to task because I chose psychological resources for a paper instead of Christian theological ones; I am immersed in a theology degree after all. It is funny how tossing a question can change your perspective.

I went searching today for Reginald Bibby, a well known Canadian scholar, academic and sociologist who has spent the last 50 years collecting data and tracking social trends. One of his foci is the religious landscape. I was introduced to his work in 2007 when I was studying gerontology with Dr. Brenda Elias and have been depending on his work ever since.

One of his areas of study is how spirituality is on the rise while religion is on the decline. Slam dunk! I love it! The question is do you know what it means to age well as you get in touch with your spirituality as a broom sweeping boomer? Are you watching as the older olds are spoon fed, Hoyer-lifted and bingo’d in their aging years? Do you want to do your third trimester differently?

I want to help! I want to teach! I want to share what an undergraduate degree and two masters have taught me since I turned 50. I want to share and grow your desire to do better and be better in the third third of your life.

I am looking for 50+ adults who would be interested in helping me gather data and to participate in a 6-week study called “Generative Aging”. It has Christian essence that I hope to pull out of the resource and I need your help. I need your input.

Interested? This is academic research and it will begin in 2025. Are you ready to implement change in your life, build your next chapter and take charge of your aging? There is no charge, no fee and no loss here. Come with me and grow!

#breakingstibah

#olderadults

#agingwell

#HealthyAging

Screen shot from:

http://reginaldbibby.com/projectcanada2020.html

Moments in Time

As our children grow and become young adults, then parents themselves, there are moments of beauty that surface. My Shane was always an inquisitive sort. He loved to tear things down and see how they worked. I remember helping him carry a piece of equipment down to the basement, when he was about 11 years old, and he knew enough to exhaust it outside and none of us died!

He would have been medicated had I let those who felt he was a challenge. He had one teacher who was so kind with him and negotiated with him when it was time for him to talk and when it was time for her to talk. She allowed him to be who he was and he blossomed under her teaching.

He now has babies and young adults in his own life. He has the chance now to care for the budding growth of little minds. Just today he wrote me this note:

There was a day in history I’ll never forget. It set me on a path of discovery that I think drove me to become better and more observant. We were in the sewing machine (this was what we called out little car) . There was a MADD ribbon on your antenna that was located just above the drivers door. The ribbon was poking in the inside of the door. I asked “mum is the ribbon stuck in your door or is it stuck in the window..?”
You said “idk honey why?”
I said ” ’cause if it’s in your door we’re safe. But if it’s stuck in the window you will rip the antenna off the roof when you open your door” 😂
Your reaction was great. Praised me for my good observation saying “I never would have thought of that”and you played along. You slowed down and said “let’s check”

Opened your door.

Turns out it was only stuck in the door. It was like a science experiment to me lol.

I realized that day I have a good eye for certain things. I should embrace those things and build off them. Now I am a good diagnostician and have a keen eye for future problems. I look ahead more and more as I age.

It warmed my heart how something I did helped him to believe in himself. We never know when we influence another! Remember that, and hopefully it will not be 30 years later before you learn the beauty of your attention!

Gratitude

The sun is shining this morning after a very clear sky night! I was up about 2:30 and truly was amazed at the shadows in the yard. The moon was so bright once again, as it can be when the sky is clear of clouds, and it always stops to cause me ponder.

I stood in the room and gazed out of the window into the night. I could see the yard and the trees and the lawn. In wonder, I pondered the clarity of Mother Nature in this moment. I raised the gratitude scale quite significantly.

I purchased one of the Inverness Marathon pictures of myself as I was coming into the finish! I want to create a shadowbox with the finisher medal and shirt when I get them. They could not be presented at the finish line because of war somewhere in the world I believe. Because of unrest someplace, somewhere, the container that was carrying the medals and t-shirts was held up. The ripple effect.

We think what goes on other places has nothing to do with us until it does. I am just finishing a book, an audiobook, called “The Nightingale” and it accounts, what I am sure is a fictional story of a woman who aided and helped a plethora of people survive and escape during WWII. Her sister hid and helped 19 Jewish children be hidden with the help of people forging papers and a nun who was willing to risk herself and the safety of the whole convent. I cry. I cry each time I read these books and think to myself, “why am I putting myself through this?”

I know the answer. I read and listen because I MUST remember what that war was like. The terrible way humans treated other humans during those years. The millions of people herded and so sadly extinguished and disposed. I must put myself in the discomfort of hearing the words read if only to slightly feel something, a minute fingernail of pain in comparison. I MUST so I can somehow be a bit of light in the world for anyone who needs to be supported and cared for in their pain.

I do not care about the finisher medal or the t-shirt, what I care about is the picture. The flag proudly worn on my back to reveal I am from a country that cares for humanity and opens our doors to those who are struggling in these countries where humans are still treating other humans in inhumane ways.

Last night, in the silence of the night, I was thankful to what I refer to as “God”. The great equalizer called Mother Nature and Father Sky; the great Divine energy that holds us circling the sun and holds the moon in place for us to see every month, if the clouds allow. When it is bright and shining I am grateful there are no clouds, knowing next month it could be obscured and hidden from my view. So in the moment I am grateful.

I am grateful for my coffee, for my life and for the moon’s bright hope in the light it sheds. I am grateful for my family and my car and the fact I can go to work and run each day. I am grateful I am a Canadian, an Irish Canadian whose ancestors fought the fight to come to this country and set up roots.

I am hopeful our world may begin to reap the benefits of my vision, mission and values as I send out light and love. Can you also join me? This Easter week, this major Christian celebration week, turn it into something you can grasp. Hear the story that even when something bad happens, death occurs we can rise again to be a message of hope and connection. Let’s resurrect goodness, love and joy. We can do it, together, we can do it!

Am I becoming a cat …. ?

Each morning, like molasses on a cold winter’s day, I move slowly, thickly and carefully, warming up my sleepy body and waking from deep unconsciousness. I spend 20-30 minutes in bed nourishing myself emotionally, spiritually and mentally in bed before rising. I take this time to prepare myself to “be” in the world and live with purpose, meaning and joy.

This bowl of soup was one of the meals I ate in Scotland. It was beautiful and filled with nourishment. I savoured it and reflected on each bite. Beautiful experience.

Life is like a box of chocolates Forrest Gump once said, and while we may never know what lies in each bite it can still be sweet, enjoyed and savoured.

This week at the #agingwell group we are exploring death, end of life and transition…. Sweet content to be savoured like my soup.

Take your time. Slow down and realize the nourishment in your spoonfuls of daily living.

#dancynadventures

#ageingwell

#foodasmedicine

Patience

Dr. Wayne Dyer once shared how he believed he had a conversation with the divine source before his soul entered the vessel. He referred to this source as “God”. So, he says, when God asked his soul, “What do you want to learn when you go to earth?” Dr. Dyer says he answered, “resilience”. He shares how he believes that God then said to him, “You want to learn resilience?” and promptly set in motion that Wayne lived in orphanages for the first many years of his life. 

What is it we are set to learn when we arrive here on this planet? I am beginning to think my lesson is patience. In my years growing up, my mother always said, “if you could just content yourself ….” And then finished the sentence with whatever she finished with and I never knew what she meant then, but I do now! 

Today, I am on round two of my coffee journey. I got up early, well early for retired people, about 7:30 AM to the rapid tapping of a woodpecker. This woodpecker is the epitome of “banging one’s head against a brick wall” because this beautiful little woodpecker chooses each day to tap on the vinal siding of the house. We hear it regularly. I was prompted to get up and see if I could see them. I had already put the kettle to boil the water, so it was hot. I poured a little of last night’s tea in a cup, added hot water, bundled in my old robe and flannel pants I went out on the deck and there they were. Literally banging their head against the vinal siding. Interesting. It does not go on for long, a few rapid drill routines and then poof, off they go! Maybe remembering, “oh yes, this is a less than fruitful venture!” 

I walked the property on this beautiful morning and watched the school bus go by, heard the birds chirping, watched a little light snow drift into this above freezing morning and consumed my barely flavoured hot water. I had a moment with the earth and my soul soared. It was lovely, my patience paid off as many birds flitted and flew and the soundlessness was enchanting. 

I came in and thought, “okay I am ready for coffee now!” I think I have shared my next daily task that requires patience. My pour over coffee routine. The little pod machine sits there every day trying its best to entice me to use the compostable pods I have found, purchased, and keep for utter emergency use! But I do not give in. My gift to Mother Earth is to use grounds and a filter! I warmed the water once again, measured the coffee into the filter, poured over and waited. While I waited I stretched, reached and did some deep knee dips. I rolled my ankles, lifted onto tippy toes and went from my small 5’3” frame into a 6-foot giant reaching as far as I could overhead. I tapped the filter because it does stall sometimes. The aroma was wonderful. In time, all was ready and I took my fresh brew to my sitting space, ready to do my reading. 

I set down my coffee and then went for my lap pillow and my laptop as I was going to work on the bulletin for Sunday’s reflection time. As I took the pillow and the laptop, went to my chair, went to turn around, a wee voice in my head said, “be careful don’t knock over your …. Cof…” Too late! The pillow corner caught the cup and sent it on its side, pouring the contents all over the table and spilling onto the floor. 

Now this is where I will stop and tell you, I think I am achieving the goal of learning patience because that liquid while pouring, seeping and dripping all over my table top and over the knitted items I had beside the table and leaking to the floor to then venture over to the books that were laying there on the floor, I watched patiently as if I needed to allow it the space and time to do its job. It was like my patience had overflowed like the spilled coffee. No expression, no fear, no clenching of the gut, just watching and saying to myself, “well darn, that’s a mess!” 

It was then I sprang into action and moved the books not yet soaking up the nectar of the grounds. It was then I folded the cloth on the table up to dam the tide. It was then I took to the bathroom and went to grab towels, only to say, “not those, it will stain!” Heading for the kitchen I took the time to grab the older tea towels and bring them back to begin the clean-up. It was a surreal moment in time. 

This all to say, I am learning patience. Not only am “I” learning it, that which is watching me learn, is seeing that “I” am learning patience. The ‘Me, Myself and I’ trio are all in glee like the trilogy watching as this soul and body work together to fulfill this mission here on earth.  Like my grandson’s light show, which is the dance party of my dreams, I watch the changing colours, learn to listen to my life these days, and in doing so I can take so much more in stride, no stress and with love, compassion and empathy. 

Creating your own shed show

The words seem to be pouring out of me lately, and my fingers are hungry to find the keys to the new laptop and splay these words on the page. As I am hungry to write, I am reading and listening/watching voraciously to books, podcasts and videos where I can learn from others what they have discovered. 

My most recent listening pleasure is The Salt Path by Raynor Winn. It is a best seller and tells the story of a couple who decide to walk 630 miles of a trail after their lives are gutted. I will not say much more than that at this point because I am not finished it yet. I will say it is a very enjoyable listen and I highly recommend it. As I read these adventures such as Wild by Cheryl Strayed and Finding Ultra by Rich Roll I feel small in my “devastated” life. I feel unworthy to put myself up on the same podium as these folks who seem, yes seem, to have suffered more than I have. It begs the questions what are the depths of suffering? How low must one go to be worthy? Worthy of what? 

As I read these journeys, I compare my life to theirs and think to myself, “have I suffered, really?” and it puts me on a journey of self-discovery to find the ways in which I have suffered and I wonder if this is fruitful. I have been reading the work of Alberto Villoldo and he teaches a medicine wheel that begins in the south. The direction of the serpent where we must shed our past in order to freshly look into the future. At group yesterday I spoke of this teaching and was saying how in his lessons he teaches how our current form of therapy is to remove the past scale by scale, painfully and with extreme challenge. Casting it off with greatness and taking a bow when done. 

Letting go of the past and choosing, like the serpent, to shed it like a restrictive skin, must be done with purpose and with pleasure. It is a choice to honour our past experiences, realize they are painful and yet they are in the past and must be left behind if we are to move forward. Never forgetting, only respecting and taking the learning forward with us into the other directions. 

This is where we start. In the south, shedding that which no longer serves us, carrying the beautiful lessons we have learned, and finding our way to the west, the way of the jaguar …. Ready to face our fears and freshly begin another day. 

I spent time yesterday with two of my grandchildren and we had a dance party. I freely danced with the boys under the disco light and let them choose the music. I shed my skin of grandmotherness and let them go. I watched as they freely jumped, danced and sang, their energy clean and free. I took that into my vision quest to be more like them and jump from couch to couch, fearless of the possible dangers.

I have suffered in my life, unlike any other person can suffer. Not because my suffering is greater but because it is unique to me and me alone. I can dance like these boys or, in my grandmotherness stand back and watch fearing the dangers. I have shed the skin of my past and choose to be free like these little boys who have yet to learn about suffering. 

The skin of my past is laying there behind me and I as move further and further away from it I feel the freedom. What do you need to let go of? Are you shedding on yourself or shedding to let go of the crap in your life? Come on the journey with me! Come join the shed show!

The door to the east…

Each day I learn and grow deeper into myself, and it is beautiful. Do you sit in the canoe on the surface of the lake and wish you could dive into the depths of your own heart?

Today is the first of February’s three gatherings at the local libraries where I have set up and aging well exploration group. January was so successful in so many ways and I am eager to see what February brings, beginning today. In January, we met for the first time and my 12 new friends came together as strangers and yet are now grouped together in spirit. Some have not met and yet they are tethered, connected in ways they have yet to discover. It is a beautiful way for me to learn about what I can do to help others find their way into a better life, a more settled existence and “teach” about spiritual care.

What is “spiritual care”? I am so glad you asked! It is an art of caring for one’s soul or spirit. We are all spiritual beings having a human experience (Telliard) and the sooner we realize this the happier our life will be. I have asked the question, “how is your spirit?” and have had people look at me like I have two heads. They are unaware they even have a spirit and are even more aware they can listen to it, work with it and partner with it in life. 

For my whole life I have talked to myself, out loud. I thought I was weird and hid it from the world. I was little and remember chattering away out loud. My mother always told me I talked way too much, little did she know how much I talked when she was not listening. I seemed to have a friend (I never identified it as an invisible friend) I just knew when I talked, I could answer and felt comforted by this. I now realize as I have aged, this voice I was hearing in my head is my spirit or my soul. My deep inner intuition, that which guides me and keeps me connected to the divine source of all things. 

I am reading a book, Grow a New Body[1] and today read about the story of Buddha. His journey from a young boy, privileged and financially secure to the person who is respected as the leader of a world religion. A beautiful coming of age and terms with how we are sheltered by well-meaning sources in our lives from the suffering of the world. It touches me deeply and speaks to the voice in my heart, that place where I have conversed with for so many years. While it is only a page or two in a larger context, I am reminded how life is about suffering and chaos and the more we ignore and try to find order the more we suffer. Sounds harsh and yet it is the key to enlightenment. 

As I write, I look out the door of my room toward the east. Each day when I wake up the room is very dark and I can see the light of the window across the hall around this door. Some days it is illuminated with light as if in opening it I will walk the Hollywood hallway into my death. Someday’s it is just barely lit and through this winter season the light has risen a wee bit earlier each day. Encouraging me to get up and open the door. The East is the doorway to the rising sun. “In the East we discover that life offers us a second chance”.[2] The Eagle vision helps us to soar above seeing the greater picture while having the ability to hone in on sustenance in the depths below with precise vision. Each day I am blessed to be facing the east upon rising and take each day as a reminder to begin again, fresh, shedding the past into the south, stealthily moving through fear in the west and then finding my place in the stillness of the hummingbird in the North. 

Are you on a journey that is taking you to wellness? We are all on a journey it just depends on the road we choose as to whether it is life giving or poor aging. I want to help anyone who wants to age with more happiness and health. That said I had better get ready to go to group! Enjoy your day, look to the east and with the rising sun know today is a new day. Let go of the past, embrace the moments and plant seeds for the future! 

Blessings and joy upon you and yours! 

[1] Dr. Alberto Villoldo. Grow a New Body: How Spirit and Power Plant Nutrients Can Transform Your Health. Hay House Inc. 2019  ISBN 978-1-4019-5656-1

[2] Ibid page 180

Empty Hangers

Empty hangers …

Today I was looking in my closet for a certain piece of clothing. I was going walking and while it is brisk, I did not want my rain pants because they make noise. I wanted warmth without the noise. So I travelled along the hangers. No, no, no …. And then I came along a group of empty hangers. I moved them to the end of the line. Close to the wall and stopped to ponder them. 

These hangers used to be filled with clothes. Where did they go? What clothes hung on them? I could not remember. It is funny because in my other closet there is a plastic garbage bag filled with my cast offs. The clothes that used to hang on these hangers. I cannot even remember them. My decision was I will put these here and then if something surfaces that I miss I can retrieve it. Now I cannot even remember what clothes are in this bag, let alone miss any of them! 

It caused me to reflect on my life after 65 years on this planet. What memories, thoughts and experiences have I placed in a holding pattern in my heart only to never retrieve them? Most recently while listening to a book, I had cause to remember something from over 10 years ago. In shame and turmoil, I mulled it around in my mind, thinking “what was I thinking?” and proceeded to walk through that very day. 

My conclusion is I was selfish and lost. The actions of that day were of a desperate and lonely person who was seeking activity to dull the pain while they drank themselves stupid. I walked the journey with that part of me that was so broken and lost, held hands and forgave myself. The empty hanger had something on it once again. I had pulled that cast off memory out and rehung it in my mind’s closet to possibly wear again. Was this wise?

As I looked over this memory hanging there in my mind, I realized I have come so far. Healed and changed my life for the better and the lesson I learned is when I am hurting I do dumb things, so I need to manage my hurts better! In that, with my personal growth and the changes I have struggled through and put on the empty hangers are for the good and I am better for them all. 

I reached into the closet of my mind and pulled that memory back off the hanger and put it back into the bag. I said goodbye to it knowing I will not need to pull it out again as I have carried the lessons learned forward and do not need the actions to remind me anymore. I can put that memory out at the roadside for the trash. It is not for recycling or for donation, it is garbage now. The carcass has been picked clean, time to release it into the abyss of my memory dump with Bing Bong (Inside Out reference, if you have not seen it you are missing out) and soar with Joy back to the present consciousness. 

In this shift of consciousness, we are witnessing it is time to begin to gather in community with like-minded people who realize the old maps need to go and there is a new way to view the divine source and the ancient stories we have been told. Reach into the closet and purge those old ideas hanging there and toss them into the memory dump of your psyche. Leave behind the empty hanger and watch for something beautiful and helpful to hang there once again. 

Alcohol free life

Today, is the day! The day where I can once again appreciate and love my life. I wonder when others rise from their beds do they jump up, using Mel Robbin’s Five Second Rule. This rule is simple and so effective. The premise is to count down from five to zero and then take action. Today I was lying in bed, needing to be up a little earlier than I usually am, looking out at the dark January morning, not wanting to move! It was then I quietly said to myself 5,4,3,2,1 and got up from my bed.

Today, is the day! The day when I celebrate my accomplishments and prepare to cover new ground and to inspire myself to be the best I can be. 5,4,3,2,1 act!!

Today, is the only day I have. It feels very cliché to say it and yet it is the ultimate truth that yesterday is gone, and tomorrow is only a dream. Today is all we have. Today is the day to make the difference, plant a seed, change our minds, open a door, colour our memories and believe that life is all good, no matter what is facing us. 

Six years ago, this week, I took my last alcoholic drink! I always have to look back at January 2018 to get the exact date and it was the 29th, I think, then on the 30th I went to a 12-step meeting. As I went to the meeting, it was the strangest feeling because I just knew I would never drink another alcoholic drink again in my life. As well as I knew my own name, my gender identity and that my mother was no longer here on earth in body, I knew I would not drink again. 

I attended meetings over the next six weeks including a “round-up” where I went alone, sat alone and took in the surroundings. I loved it all. Seeing the world through sober eyes and a sober heart. It was like someone had turned on the lights in a very dark room. I felt lighter, complete and whole. The 12-steps were part of my journey and I look at them, even today, as solid practices to wholeness, not just sobriety. Just this week I was listening to a podcast and the speaker spoke about emotional sobriety, I previously referred to this as a “dry drunk”. A person who has given up alcohol and not been able to emotionally strengthen their living experience. I was that person … I could go a day or two without alcohol, always relapsing, because the pain in my heart was so great and the addiction so strong, I would cave very quickly. 

Part of the journey was addressing my mistakes, forgiving myself for those mistakes and being grateful I was lucky none of my mistakes caused death or total destruction. My mistakes were hurtful, dangerous and cut deeply and I have been able to own them and I am able every day to be thankful for owning my life again. 

Alcohol is toxic to the body in any quantity. I always chuckle now as people say, “in moderation”, to excuse behaviours we know are not good. The interesting part about alcohol, unhealthy food and personal choices, is there are multiple layers to the toxicity and there are a plethora of ways destructive behaviour and ingestion of that which is biologically hard on the body is not good for anyone. 

Every year I successfully say no to alcohol, I take new steps to a sober life in all areas. Each day I take steps, and look forward, to caring for the biology of my person alongside emotional, mental and spiritual parts of my life. I now openly and strongly am an advocate of an alcohol-free life. I want to help others let it go, support and guide people through the jungle, and walk with others along the journey. 

I did not get up on January 29th, 2018, and pour the last of the wine down the drain and never look back nor was it the first morning I decided to release alcohol from my life. I remember years and years of attempts and falling short of this goal countless times. It almost broke me multiple times and the memory of my failure brought me to my knees in 2014. A darkness so deep I had all the plans in place to end my life and it was not the only time.

This is the time of year when we all reassess our choices and “dry January” is on the table. This is the time of year to take stock! If you want to wake up February 1, and know it will be a dry February, March and April and that is what you desire, you can do it. I have done it and so can you. 

Let go and decide to change this part of your life and have the lights turned on in that dark room. Partner with your heart, your spirit, your soul, and lift yourself into a whole life. If you feel you have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol you can change it. I am with you in spirit and can walk the journey with you!

In Downton Abby Carson speaks to Mr. Mosley about why he coloured his hair. Carson says, “I don’t know why you coloured your hair, Mr. Mosley, it has not had the effect you hoped. Take steps, Mr. Mosley, take steps – You will remain below stairs until you do!”  So why do you do something that does not serve you or get the results you want. You will remain below stairs until you change …. Can you step onto the bottom step and begin the journey up?

https://www.richroll.com/podcast/ruari-fairbairns-805/

The New Year!

January 2024 …. I am stunned at this date! I remember well the turn of the Y2K and it’s baggage and concerns. I remember the 90’s with the padded shoulders and the 80’s with the hair beginning to grow bigger. My little Honda Civic that was so cute and my very first new car! And I remember my behaviours ….

Today, I woke up to the sun shining. It seems like forever since we saw the sun. My sister just wrote me an email and in it she asked me, “what is that big yellow thing in the sky?” I laughed because we do not realize until it is not there how much we miss it. The old, OLD, saying, “you don’t miss anything until it is gone!” That said the sun is never truly gone it is just behind the clouds. That too is a metaphor for life. What clouds cover the sunshine in your life?

I was making a coffee and, unlike most people in the year 2024, I use an old small cone style filter. I boil water in the kettle, put the ground coffee into a white paper filter and then pour the water over into a stainless steel “go” cup. I have done this for years. One of those things one begins doing and before you know it, it is a tradition or a habit. It sits precariously there as I pour. Soothing actually, watching the water slowly go down and the grounds sticking to the sides of the filter. 

My friend does pour over as well. She likes to be sure to pour the water around in a circle to push all the grounds down to the bottom of the cone. I like to pour into the middle and let the grounds float and land wherever they want, leaving them high on the sides. My friend and I have two different ways of completing the same task. Yet another metaphor for life. What do you do different from another to achieve the same goal? What makes anything the “right” way to do it?

I digress, anyway,  I went to turn, and you guessed it! The precarious cone full of water and coffee grounds was knocked off its perch and spilled all over the counter, the floor and the face of the kitchen cabinets. This is a scene I replay in my mind most mornings. I look at that cone and think, “I must be careful, mindful, I don’t send it flying, as it would be a terrible mess!” Yet another metaphor for life. What is going on right now, every day, that perches precariously, with you knowing one wrong move and you would have a mess?

January is a time when many of us set goals, resolutions and quests for the upcoming year. These precarious cones of mess we have traditionally created are perched delicately waiting for us to make the wrong move. Do we continue this way of life? Or do we begin to make changes to create a more solid platform for our actions? 

As I looked at the mess, I turned to the sink and got the dish cloth. I began wiping up the grounds, the water and my precious coffee. Most of the coffee was still protected and standing tall in the stainless-steel double walled cup. I took a moment and realized, like this coffee, I felt safe and protected. While I might have a spill around me, some chaos and a bit of a mess, most of me is calm and just standing by. 

That is most people’s January wish. To feel safe, calm and to settle the chaos. How much chaos is in your life? We all need a little to keep us on our toes. The Buddhist’s would say life is nothing but chaos and that nothing is solid, I agree to a certain degree. I agree life is never certain, what is certain is our reaction to it all. 

As I wiped up the spillage, I smiled and noticed the sun shining in the window showing the dust on the tables. I felt the calm in my soul knowing this mess can be cleaned up. I witnessed my healthy heart, never skipping a beat at the mess. I felt glory in the way I simply realized the mess and began the task of sorting it all out. A few years ago, this kind of moment would send me to the bottle not the coffee and create tears and spillage of my soul. 

January may be a time to assess our lives because it is the beginning of a new year. To continue this assessment and make meaningful changes takes stamina and inner strength. Will Power will come visit and then leave again the first of February, but fear not. Each time you work at it you are building your own strength. 

In this new year, may you find your own spillage to be the realizing calm in your storm. May you know the sun is never gone, it is only behind the clouds and will return. You can do it! Take yourself to task and spill away!