I have about 20 years of working with grief, loss and the soothing of souls who are suffering. It started years ago when I simply found I was a good listener and had empathy and compassion for others. I particularly found this to be true of the aging population, when people become invisible simply because they retire, get white hair or maybe are changing physically.
I found myself enjoying time with these folks in formal care settings. Alongside my education (an undergraduate degree and two masters degrees in the same time frame) I found lots of fodder for how to be with others, what does active and empathetic listening look like and why do people suffer and continue to suffer. It has taken a confidence in myself to be willing to discuss this openly and with some grit.
Our core evolutionary instinct is to be in community and group together depending on others. In the recent past there has been a rise of individualism and an autonomy structure that takes us away from community and group think. It is here that grief can take hold and create a monster so hard to fight.
My way of working with people who are grieving is to work with them head on and use words that many avoid. Words like “death”, “sadness” and “lonely”. We tend to say “passed on” or “passed away” or “lost” for death and, there is an electric charge that zaps others if someone says they are lonely, sad or isolated.
We all have these feelings and want to talk about them expressing anger and outrage. I allow that. I also quest to bring the griever to a place where hope and light is present. I also am expressive when I encourage the griever to move forward. Wallowing is not allowed in my practice. Working through anger, thoughts, and feelings process and move anyone forward, wallowing does not. It is a form of feeling sorry for oneself and is why others grow weary.
We are human beings that need to do something! There needs to be intentionality and resources presented to help process. Action and physical movement shakes up the doldrum energies and breaks them down to be expelled. Reasoning and logic are presented and with systemic thinking we become self aware of our own needs and then can soothe and feed these needs.
What one does not need when grieving is PITY, SYMPATHY or CONDOLENCE for longer than the blink of an eye.
Are you struggling to process and move on …. ?
Feeling stuck in old grief that you cannot process or move … ?
I am the Senekot of grief and I can get you moving. I am the Exlax you need to purge the sh*t stuck in the bowels of your happiness. Do you want to be happy again? Then choose to be happy and reach out for some support with that journey.
Spiritual Care is the answer to a happy life. Caring for your connection to yourself and your heart.
#breakingstibah 